Growing up you believe the world is meant to be the way it is. The older I get the more I realise that this is not the case. The world is full of injustices and atrocities that governments and the voice of faith expect us to accept, though with each passing year they grow fewer and fewer, at least one would hope. I have created this blog as a space for me to rant about all things science, politics, philosophy and religion, before it’s too late and the vessel of new atheism propelled by a growing surge in secularism solves all of the world’s problems for good.

Friday, 29 April 2011

The conception of Jesus may not have been miraculous after all?



This is quite a bizarre story, more than that actually, but then so is the story of Mother Mary being impregnated by God. The following story is an alternative as to how Mary really became pregnant without having had sex and it involves the lack of a vagina, some oral sex and a knife fight. Trust me...

So the story isn't new, it occurred in the late 1980s when a 15-year-old girl living in the African country of Lesotho was taken to a local hospital showing the symptoms of a woman in labour. The doctors went to examine her and discovered that the girl had no vagina, just a shallow skin dimple. Apparently this isn't that uncommon and is a birth defect called Mullerian agenesis or Mayer-Rokitansky-K├╝ster-Hauser syndrome. However, the pregnancy on the other hand was a surprise. At this point no doubt you're thinking "HOW THE...???" Just wait...

So the hospital staff looked into the girls records and discovered she'd been in the same hospital 278 days prior to then due to a knife wound to her stomach. The average pregnancy lasts 280 days. Apparently the girl had been practicing some fellatio on her new boyfriend when her former boyfriend appeared on the scene and a knife fight followed and she was stabbed.

She showed up to the hospital with an empty stomach and was stitched up and sent home. Nine months later she was back and in labour, needless to say the baby was delivered by caesarian.

The hypothesis doctors came up with as to how she became pregnant is as follows: she swallowed semen after practicing fellatio on her new boyfriend; soon after the former boyfriend appeared and a knife fight ensued where she was stabbed in the stomach; the semen left her stomach and reached her reproductive organs via the injured gastrointestinal tract; she became pregnant.

Anyway, back to Mother Mary. This story is evidence for the conception without sex, so perhaps Mary was a bit of a player on poor old Joseph. He came home one night and found her in the act of fellatio with another man. In his rage he pulls out a knife, stabs Mary and her assailant. The assailant dies, but Mary survives with only minor wounds. To cover it all up, hide the dead body and prevent the family being shamed, they agree to tell the world that God impregnated Mary miraculously... Best cover up ever!

Edit: I might also add this story of a woman who apparently fell pregnant after being the lucky recipient of a gun shot to the abdominal cavity during the civil war in the US (1870s). The bullet had hit a man taking his left testicle with it and traveled into a nearby house where it hit the woman.

2 comments:

  1. According to the bible, Mary was betrothed to Joseph, not Abraham.

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  2. Ah, dah... My bad. I should've double checked while writing this. Thanks for pointing that out Jeremy.

    ReplyDelete